2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
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