I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
ttyl tear gas
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
