he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
