I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
