i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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