why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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