dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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