You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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