I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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