You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
