Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
