Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Randomize
