Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
you had me at cake vodka
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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