It's Friday. Sex?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
