we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't deserve a penis
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize