Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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