Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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