lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
