i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Randomize
