I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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