when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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