I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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