She said her name was "party"
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
And then he peed in my hair
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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