I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
