Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Randomize
