I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
