ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
