I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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