Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
