You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
In other news, I just burned my penis
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
