if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
