Having a random hookup so left but love u
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
