I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
