...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
