god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize