i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Acid is not a monday night drug
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
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