This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
