i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He better not be in your backpack
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
