she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
