There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Randomize
