Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
