At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
4 words: hood of his car
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
