just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
