It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
