Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
