It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
