Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
