the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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