Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
