it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
