I feel like abortions should bother me more
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
