$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
