whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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