sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
